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What leaders should do to avoid hurting church members?
James 3:13-17 (Amplified Bible) Who is there among you who is wise and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth his [good] works with the [unobtrusive] humility [which is the proper attribute] of true wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry, selfish ambition) in your hearts, do not pride yourselves on it and thus be in defiance of and false to the Truth.
This [superficial] wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual (animal), even devilish (demoniacal). For wherever there is jealousy (envy) and contention (rivalry and selfish ambition), there will also be confusion (unrest, disharmony, rebellion) and all sorts of evil and vile practices.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).
I get calls from church members quite often, sometimes they just want someone to pray with them, and sometimes in their voice I can tell they just need someone to encourage them in God’s Word. But occasionally they call to tell me about someone in the church that hurt them, seldom is a physical hurt, most of the time it is a failure on the part of church leaders to encourage in their time of need.
Whenever I get that last type of call I wait on God to give me the right word for them, even while my ear is still on the phone listening to their dilemma, I am in prayer, asking God to use me as a conduit so that they may receive the message that He has for them. Sometimes by the works of the Holy Spirit wisdom abounds, sometimes no word at all is given to me and I know my task is that of a sounding board, or listening ear. Whatever the case, it is the Spirit of God which dictates my response.
Today we find members of the Body of Christ in constant conflict with one another, choir member against other choir members, prideful and controlling people whose would rather point at the splinter in your eye then pull the log from their own. Someone can’t get alone with Miss Green “Because she is just too bossy” or “Deacon Jones thinks he’s somebody’s boss.” All of these are common place even though Jesus said “All men will know you are my disciple if you love one another.” Of course babes in Christ will make mistakes, but what about those that have been in Christ for years, those appointed to the office of deacon, elder or pastor? What do we do when these conflict point at a leader? More importantly, what should a leader do to avoid him or her being the origin of member’s conflict?
There is nothing more unsettling then to have to apologize for another leader’s carnal handling of a member. And most of the time it is with those members that are newest in their walk with Christ, those members that we should handle with the most care and love. Those members that are looking to find Christ in our behaviors, that we seem the least patience for.
I may be nearly impossible to be walk this walk with Christ and never have conflict with another member or some one not in the faith. However, as leaders we have to be more conscience in how we carry the banner of Christ in all parts of our life. If our attitudes and behaviors are chasing away God’s flock, then we are antagonistic to the building of God’s kingdom. We are as the bible says an enmity against God! We can’t march under the blood stain banner of Christ on Sunday and forget about him the rest of the week. Sound ministering of church members must be a 24-7, 365 days a year walk.
Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
This is not a request but a requirement, so when I hear things like Deacon So-in-so did this, or Elder What-cha-ma-call-it always does that, I am often at lost for words, as I wait on the Spirit of God to lead me.
When a church leader is the origin of the complaint we must take this cry for help very seriously, we have at jeopardy the character of the leader, and the salvation of the member, neither of which should be fractured because of carnal thinking on the part of one or both or them. God has given leaders that they may guide those that are not quite mature in their spiritual walk with Christ. A leader is tasked with giving the Word of God in its purest form while still encouraging and being non-judgmental in the way he ministers to the flock.
When ministering to the flock, the main goal of the leader should not be the correction of an individual’s problem, nor to point finger as to who’s the blame, nor should the leader use his position to pass judgment, but instead wait on the Spirit of God to lead him in what he should say. With spiritual discernment of what is the deeper problem the individual is dealing with, and Spiritual knowledge of the scriptures, a leader must be able to provide the encouragement to grow beyond the members problems.
(Romans 15:14) And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.
It makes no difference how much a leader desires to give the member what the leader thinks what he or she needs in their time of despair, if these two ingredients (spiritual discernment, and spiritual knowledge of scripture) are not the foundation of Spiritual Advice (advice having its origin in the Holy Spirit of God) than it is just that leader’s opinion.
When the leader is not spiritually led to the correct scripture, and have not properly discern the problem, and then the leader can be confounded as to what to say to a member. Even worst is when out of pride, (because that have not received a word from the Holy Spirit) that leader may give carnal advice, which has its origin in what they think in their head, and not what God has for them.
Moreover when the leader is not led by the Spirit of God, he will allow his knowledge of the individual or their situation skews sound judgment. And any advice given will not be grounded in Spirit and will be is carnal and evil, it makes no difference if the advice is given with good intentions or not.
(James 3:15) This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
“I said what I said out of love is never the right answer when dealing with the fragile heart of a new member in need. We should never have to apologies for our actions or the way we speak to a member, because our actions and the way we speak to them must be godly, peaceable, loving, easily entreated (received) and full of mercy.
(James 3:17) But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
Too often I have seen members leave the church (my own family included) and some eventually their walk with Christ because they were hurt either emotionally, physically or spiritually by a leader in the Church. Some leaders justify members leaving by saying the God is weeding out the wheat from the tarries, but this is the propaganda of the devil and a reflection of the leader’s irresponsible and prideful behavior.
(James 3:14) But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
If we are speaking harshly to our members we lack love, and are lying when we say we love them. If we spoke it with our mouths we thought it with our hearts, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh
(Matthew 12:34) O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
Impatience, being judgmental and prideful behaviors are sins which impression as many leaders in the Body of Christ, as murder, robbery and sexual perversion imprisons the general populace of any modern day correction facility. Leaders must always be alert to the seed that they allow to root in their heart, because every seed planted will always produce fruit of some kind (sometimes a peach, sometimes a cactus). The leader must constantly ask himself “Do I have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, humility, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22) This is especially true when dealing with difficult and new members. If the leader lacks any of these, then he must make corrections in his life immediately! Because the leader is accountable to not just his pastor or earthly leaders, but also to God for his salvation, and the perfecting of the saints in the Body of Christ.
Your brother in Christ
FireSpeaks
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Source by Troy Charves Pearsall
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